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Next Steps
Discussing and coping with serious illness

The following is an excerpt from Next Steps.  It is provided as a sample of what is included in the “How to Talk with Doc” section.  More information is included in the booklet.

How to Talk with Doc

Why talk with Doc?
Doctors need to know what your wishes are in case you ever get seriously ill.  They don’t want to make decisions about your medical care on their own.  But most will not bring up the subject because they don’t want to frighten you with discussions about serious illness.

Some suggestions and reminders BEFORE you talk with Doc:  Remember that having a talk with your doctor may take more than one try.  Doctors are busy people.  You may end up with a short amount of time to discuss your wishes.  It will help if you organize your thoughts so you can get straight to the point.  A good way to start is by placing a copy of your Five Wishes in the doctor’s hands.  If your doctor is not able to discuss your wishes the first time you try, ask the doctor, nurse or secretary for a formal appointment date and time in the very near future to discuss your wishes.

Go over your Five Wishes, wish by wish:

  • While all of your wishes are important, make sure you go over Wishes Two and Three very carefully.  Talking about controlling your pain is critical.  This is one area you don’t want to leave to chance.  Experts agree that many people who are seriously ill do not get the pain treatment they want.   If you don’t want to be in pain, the best way to protect yourself is to speak with your doctor and be blunt about it.

  • Tell your doctor how much you want to know about your illness and chance of recovery if the time comes that you are very sick.  Let your doctor know if you want the details of your condition and chance of recovery, or just a general outline.  Also, tell your doctor if you want that information shared with, or kept from, people close to you.

Remember that the above is only an excerpt from Next Steps.  Much more information is contained in the document.

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