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The following
is an excerpt from
Next
Steps. It is provided as a
sample of what is included in the “How
to be by the Bedside” section. More information is included in
the booklet.
How to be by the Bedside
If someone you care about gets very sick, you may not know what to expect or what to do. This guide is intended to help you and your loved
one make the best of this time. The time you
spend at the bedside of someone who is seriously ill is something you will never forget. It will be hard at first, but later you will feel
glad that you were there.
You may want to read
Five Wishes
before you visit to get a good understanding of what a seriously ill
person faces.
What to expect at the bedside:
People are different, and so are the ways they handle serious illness. It’s a good idea to give your loved one the
freedom to handle sickness in his or her own way. Your
loved one who is sick may act just like before, or he or she may seem like a different
person to you. A lot depends on what the
illness is and whether a recovery is possible or not.
What to do by the bedside:
First of all, just being there with your loved ones is the most important thing you can
do. Don’t worry about having the right things to say.
In fact, you may just want to say to your loved one, “I don’t know
what to say to you. I just want to be with you, and I’m glad I’m here."
How to be a good Health Care Agent:
You may have been asked by a family member or friend to be his or her health care agent
(see Wish One of
Five Wishes for more information).
This means you have the power to make medical decisions for your loved one
when he or she can’t speak. You may be
asked to make decisions even if your loved one’s inability to communicate is only
temporary.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
-
Know your loved
one’s wishes ahead of time. Ask
questions so that you understand what he or
she would want. If for some reason you
can’t follow these wishes, then ask your loved one to choose someone else to be the
health care agent.
-
The doctors and nurses
caring for your loved one need to know who you are and how to reach you. Introduce yourself and make sure they have a copy
of your loved one’s
Five Wishes.
Be
courteous and be firm. Our country’s
health care system sometimes ignores a patient’s wishes if the health care agent
doesn’t push for the doctors and nurses to follow them. So don’t be rude but keep reminding them of
your loved one’s wishes.
Remember that the above is
only an excerpt from
Next
Steps.
Much more information is
contained in the document.
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